Surrounded by the constant battering of the disinfectant odor, i soon got used to it and in no time soon, i was breathing as good as normal. The nurses were hovering around me doing what they know how to do best; i was soon lost in pit of worry, i just missed my first paper in my finals. What good is a certificate when your might not live enough to explore all its potential, i was awaken by the words of the doctor who has surely found his way to my side of the bed amidst the busy schedule, probably someone must have pressed some buttons.
It was no surprise when the doctor mentioned that my liver was in a state of diaspora, i was instantaneously put on a specified medication and diet to help secure whatever is left of this liver. Deep in my mind, i had given up hope, cause the after effect of a two pack of cigarette a day and constant alcoholic content in the blood stream can blast any liver back to abyss. I was expecting the doctor to mention what i feared most but it seemed to him that i might not be a suspect in this act he has in mind so he simply let the sleeping dog lie.
Having the nurses hover around me again for the second time that same morning was a privilege cause even if my situation was an emergency, there were lots of patience all over the place and there were totally not enough doctors to go round. I was not sure what happened but not long after i felt the pinched piercing of a needle in my left arm veins, i began to sleep away in a slow but peaceful slide, i soon was back in the pavilion, where the exams has been written in my campus for a good number of years. Yes i was writing the papers as the questions were all in my head and as i supposed was certain i was prepared for it even if it seems i was a bit unconscious. The papers were handed over to me and soon i was the first to rise and left the hall in preparing for the afternoon paper on the same day. I have never been so ready to seat for an exam.
The loud speaker soon rang so loud to signify the end of the first paper and remind the likes in my department that the next paper was soon about to start. As it has been a culture for me, at this very moment, i always seek to be away from my department colleagues cause in time as this, they could allow you ride into fear and anxiety by bringing up issues you might not have tackled and thus you could be struggling with what you know when you find yourself in the hall at last. Better still i keep away from them and seek a secluded area which seem so difficult to find as my ears where so full of loud noises, which i still could not tackle where it was coming from.
In no time i was awake and then realized once again i was in a nylon padded bedside and this time i had more visitors than i supposed was allowed for a single patient in the ward. Now i know where the sounds were coming from, they had gathered round me with prayers and holy ghost declarations that i supposed was answered immediately cause i soon felt like i was whole once again.
Best wishes and happy greetings were exchanged between my family and the well wishers and i soon drifted again into oblivion. This time i was late into the hall and supposed i might have been delayed by circumstances beyond my control. The paper was about an hour gone and as i sat down, i felt the usual peace i had always felt in all of my examinations so far, the assurance that it is just an examination and so long as i had prepared for it, i am already assured of the 80% score, added bonus comes from added effort afterwards. The next few minutes were had course i soon began to loose my vision, not seeing the papers clearly and when i had to ask the invigilators, they sidelined me and called me unserious. I think that was the hormone stimulant that corrected the defect cause in life, i just never like the word unserious and i do hate to be in the midst of unserious people likewise.
The end of the paper revealed a freedom within me that soon send a ripple down my inner being as i was submitting my papers. I was thrown into a quick surge by the voltage of electricity that bolted into my body, sending my inner fantasy crumbling and my real world came crashing as all i had to take in all at once were the harsh disinfectant, the discomforting bed, the painful step for the drip mechanization into my veins, the bitter taste of bile on my tongue and finally the incoming power surge from the defibrillator. I am now fully awake and all i see was the boring white nurses with their hickety rickety walks, and the fact that i might have stayed here for over a week already and not know what day it actually is.
At this point, i realize something for sure that life will mean no single thing if we are to just live and die. We will not be any better than the animals we see around us cause they also just live and die with no propose in life and no ambition towards something greater. At this point i realized that the need for life is much more important that the waste i have made a mess of in all that i do likewise. It has been hell but it is great that reality check are made as at times like this and one is made to understand which is more important.
After some more days of my stay in the hospital, i was for the first time allowed to move into the toilet and tryout a technique i have done for all my lifetime to ease off the loads withing, but to no avail. I soon came back to the bed, with my motor able drip and discomforting state, yet still hopeful that there is hope after a single failure from the very fist trial.
My parents soon brought to my bed side a very heated up soup given to help the sick open up their bowels and allow the stomach digest wisely. Anything different at this time could result to an ulcerous activity cause i supposedly have been existing on drips and blood sugar all along. It took me no stress to fall asleep and as soon as i stand on both feet, the stars and moon seem to always be colliding at my fore head sending me spinning signs and wonders into my stability power.
Yes i do believe in miracle and as i write i am one. The Lord has given his son a second chance not because he purposely worked for it but because even before he failed himself, he is still loved by an impartial God who does what he does with us because he has made a covenant with us all. Today i can be proud of something and that is how the Lord has lead me directly into his ways and he is still leading while i follow, it is such a grace of God that we all do what we must do but understand that his will is what we know must be done. his word simply said that everything on earth will pass away, my life, my money, my car, my business, my education, my career, my social club, my friends... But the word of our father will never pass away, for every single prophesy of the Lord must come to pass.
In time i was out of the hospital and was able to head back to school and as luck could have it, i was able to write some of the papers but in getting the access to write the ones missed, i was turned down by the senate committee, who insisted that i should get an extra year and rewrite my papers.
What a fools errand but in life we are subject of authority and if we do not comply to these, are we not savages? Here i learned a very important lesson in life, we can be what we set our mind to be, but when we feel we know too much and the Lord knows it will hurt us in the end, he might just have to clip our wings a little and watch us learn bit by bit until we totally surrender.
Finally, i was so blind at this point in my life that i blamed everything i possibly can about why i had to be back for an extra year. I felt very bad and soon was down in a world of seclusion, alcoholism and packs after packs of cigarettes. I was lost back i the path i felt i had been saved from and at this point nothing else matters but regrets and blames.
TO BE CONTINUES...